Twenty years from now you will be more dissapointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover

Saturday, May 15, 2010

i guess this is it.

So I guess this is it... Almost four months ago I set out on a journey that would change my life, forever. I was given devastating news, and then took off overseas to experience what would end up being the craziest, toughest, and more amazing time in my life.

This was a test, could I do it? Could I handle this crazy disease in a completely foreign environment? Thanks to perseverance, new found strength, and some of the most amazing people I have ever met, the answer is yes. Did I almost give up? Many times. Did I call home crying, telling my parents that I wasn't strong enough to do this on my anymore, yep. But never did I completely give up and follow through with it. The best decision I ever made.

I've grown up. I'm coming home much different than when I left. Is that scary? Yes. Was it much needed? I think so. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine what ended up being the past few months. I mean nobody dreams of become a diabetic, lets get serious... But travelling asia, trekking through the jungle, battling weight gain and hair loss... I never thought it would happen to me, none of it. Things I took for granted before have now been put into perspective, and I can now allow the simple things in life to make me happy. Taking care of myself has become a priority, in a way I never had to conciously consider before.

Packing up my things was hard. I'm leaving a certain life behind. Coming home will be therapeutic for me, but I would be kidding myself if I said I wasn't really going to miss it here. Even through all of the sweaty nights, awkward roommate moments, ridiculous gym sessions, and hospital visits, I was thankful for being here. I had a different experience than a lot of the other kids here, partying and making ridiculous memories weren't my immediate goals. But hong kong played host to the wildest nights of my life.

I've made what I consider to be lifelong friends, and had it not been for them, hong kong wouldn't have been the same. Ridiculous nights out, and mornings after. Times where we would sit and talk, about maybe even nothing at all... Sessions in 336, and wild southeast asian adventures, they made it all. This is me signing off for now. In less than an hour I'll be in a taxi to the airport, making my way back home. There have been some tears, and I'm sure that there are many more to come, sad, and happy at the same time. Over and out from hk.

Friday, May 14, 2010

goodluck and goodbye.

Judgement exam this morning... killed it. No joke. I was done the two hour exam in barely over an hour. Now THAT ladies and gentlemen is preparation at it's finest. 4 perfectly constructed long answers, and 18/20 sure mutilple choice questions later, I left my VIP exam with a larger-than-average smile on my face...

Alllllmost there I thought. I then proceeded to the lab to finish my marketing assignment that I thought was due at 6pm. Surprise, it's due at noon. As I look at the clock on the computer reading 11:46, I literally break a sweat. I decide that this is an appropriate time to email my teacher and pull the diabetes card. Ahhhh the d-card, always a reliable weapon in any situiation. I explain to her that since I've had to change my exams around due to an unforseen medical emergency, I had mixed up the time the assignment was due. The outcome: perfect. She immediately replies, telling me that it is no problem and just to get it to her when I am done, along with her best wishes for a safe and healthy journey home. For anyone who is shaking their head right now, until you stab yourself repeatedly on a daily basis, don't judge... You'd pull the card too.

After that debocle I return to my room to find my roomate and her bf here, getting their things ready to go away for the weekend. I'm sitting here wondering how strange this goodbye is going to be. We're not really friends, but we've lived together for the past 4 months, I sat here awkwardly waiting for them to get up to leave... Then the moment comes, well I guess we'll be leaving now, she says. "Okay well I guess I won't see you again then?" I respond, "No, I won't be abck until Monday"... Well thissss is just getting weird now, I contemplate going in for the forced hug and decide that it has been way too long to just shake her hand, so I get up and go in for the hug, thankfully she gave me a little squeeze back... It could have been an epic fail on my part otherwise. We exchange goodluck's and Goodbye's and thats the end. 4 months of too much silence, a few arguments, and many awkward moments later it's all over. SO strange.

I am now working on my final school-related task for the semester. A take home, open book marketing exam in which I have to create a sales promotion for the "Kindle" to boost summer sales while maintaining brand equity. Not the best assignment, but who can complain about a take home, open book exam, right? Anxiety is starting to creep in, I will on a plane in 48 hours, this is too weird.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

some sort of pokemon haircut.

Two sidenotes I felt compelled to share:

I don't know how I did not announce this earlier, but my roomate's boyfriend has been in town since last Friday, meaning only one thing, solitude for me, finally. SHe has been styaing with him in a hotel in Mong Kok, which meacns that I have had 7 glorious nights of sleep to myself, butt naked, and in complete and utter peace. He's here until Monday, meaning tha I have the room to myself until I leave, halllllelujah!

I saw Kevin yesterday and proceeded to comment on his new hair cut, it was a lot shorter, but looked good. He proceeded to tell me that he went to the salon on campus and they "completely butchered it", so he had to get Mosi to buzz it all off. I inquired as to what sort of butchering took place, to which he responded that he was given "some sort of Pokemon haircut" bahahaha. He later went into further detail explaining that he felt like fricken Pikachu. ahhhh only in hk.

over and out. big day tomorrow. exams.com.

回家不久=)

If one of your worst nightmares is sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair, looking at a sheet full of garb that looks like this:

哇中国是荒谬的,而且可能是最困难的东西会

then welcome to my life.

I spent 50 minutes of my day today in room 5559 trying my hardest to decipher sentences like the one above, and translate it into english. Fun, not quite. I mean, of course there were other parts to the test, translating english words into chinese, and reading a chinese business card. WHY do I do this to myself? I have no idea?

So needless to say the 50 minutes actually went by so slow because all I could think of was retreating to my room for a nap of defeat. The chinese characters were making my head spin, and I was literally falling asleep. I managed to eat something before going back to my room and passing right out.

On to the next task, MGMT 332 exam at 10am tomorrow. This one I am not allowed to complain about, as it was I that arranged the early exam in the first place (helllllllo coming home in three sleeps!), but 10am ahhhhh the worst. So currently I sit in the library, with 10 lectures worth of notes in front of me, trying to absorb all that is Alex Markle, not as easy as it sounds.

Adding on to that, I just had my very first sit down dinner alone on campus, not as sad as I thought it would be. Maybe because I was so focused on learning the availability Heuristic that I really did not give a flying _____ who saw me eating alone lol. So, eating alone, not that bad; getting ridiculously sweaty because I struggled to handle the heat of the pork curry that I so randomly chose to order, not good times. Maybe asia hasn't built up my tolerance for spice after all.

Time for me to delve back into Judgement and Decision Making for Organizations, jealous? Didn't think so. 3 sleeps. count. it. down.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

liz beast is gone.

Today marked a sad day. Elizabeth left to go back to LA for graduation. To most people here, it wasn't as tough of a day as it was for me... See, liz beast is coming back next thursday to write finals, but I'm leaving this sunday, meaning that today was the last time I will see her until I visit LA in August.

I had a little sobfest of my own after she left, she had given me a letter and told me not to read it until she left, for reasons now evident.
Bawling like a little baby, I read the letter to mos. She said she didn't read my email because she didn't want to cry in the airport, ahhh waterworks alll over hk. I feel like we've broken up or something, I guess I've just never spent so much time and grown so close to someone over a period of time, only to have them leave and know that I won't see them for months to come... It's a lot harder than I thought. 90 days and counting =)

Sunday, May 9, 2010

a real prize.

It is now Sunday but I have decided to record yesterday's events based on the fact that our evening was ridiculous.com.

I slept in decently, until I realized that it was only a couple of hours until the rugby game we had promised our friends we would attend. I quickly hit the gym before meeting up with Kev for what would end up as a mad dash through Causeway bay trying to find the stupid field. Stopping to ask locals, waste of time; trying to find it on our own, an even bigger waste of time lol. We went up to the first white guy we saw to see if he could be of any help, thenk god for Scotland.

We made it for the full second half, and although our team got spanked, it was a really good time. Kevin had been prviously instructed to take lots of pictures witha camera given to him by Ramin. Based on the fact that he was struggling, he let me attempt to be the photog for a while, I honestly don't know if there was one single picture I took that didn't end up being ridiculously blurry... The worst.

We came back to school after making the decision that we would get changed and go out for a nice dinner. The group ended up being 8 of us, and we headed to Soho in hopes of being able to decide on somewhere good to go. About an hour later, everyone was still arguing about which restaurant to go to, people were threatening to split up, and I was slowly slipping into hypoglycemia, which means only one thing. Bitch.com. Tania suggested that maybe I should get a snack from sev (more than likely she saw the horns slowly making their way out of the top of my head at this point), so off we went to deal with the blood sugar issue.

We decide on a greek and middle eastern restaurant called Olive. Hummus, Salmon, and 3 glasses on Pinot later, we were on our way to feather boa (a teenie tiny bar that serves ridiculous chocolate girly drinks). I took one for the diabetes team and opted out. Instead I decided that it would be totally appropriate to call Kevin (an east coast frat boy) out and challenge him to try and beat me in shotgunning. Next thing I know, we're outside of 7eleven, each holding a Budweiser tallboy, and I begin to wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life, am I a complete IDIOT?! Ah well it was too late now right? Our friends count us down and we're off. I realize I am now done and drop my empty can to the ground. FIRST. I then proceed to turn to Kevin and tell him to "take that to the bank and cash it" lol, ahhhh only I would say something like that... So classy.

Next stop, Gecco. Where I ingest zero alcohol, and once again, give myself a pat on the back. Not having the greatest time, me Kev and Ramin decide to head back to shotgun city, aka 7eleven. We proceed to sit there for about an hour having an uber serious conversation about life, until this gay couple comes up and starts tell Ramin how beautiful he is haha. These guys hang around for a while, and then retreat to some gay bar they were headed to. We continue on to meet up with everyone at "Pie". This place turns out to be fairly awesome, and the Peach Absolut just sits there staring me in the face, obviously I give in.

Pie was our last stop for the night, or so we though. We hop in a taxi, and before we even get 400 meters, the guys ask the taxi driver if he can stop at McDonalds, and tell him that we'll be right back, he says ok. What happened in the next five minutes is ridiculous and scary at the same time.

Everyone is ordering and the driver comes down the stairs screaming and shaking, this guy is so fuming mad that it looked like he was going to cry. he's screaming in cantonese at us and we have absolutely no idea what is going on. We're looking around asking people if they can help us and explain what he's saying, everyone responds with a blank stare. We offer the guy money, because the only thing we can guess is that he thinks we were trying to skip the cab and not pay, even though the fare was literally $3CDN at this point. I turn back around and all of a sudden my friends have gone upstairs and this guy is now screaming at me so loud that everyone in the restaurant has stopped eating and is staring. I just stood there as this guy was threatening to call the police, I told him to go ahead and call the police, figuring that would probably be the safest thing for me anyways. Some guys beside me tell me nto to worry, that he;s jsut drunk. DRUNK?!? This guy was our DRIVER, what a psycho. All i wanted were some fricken nuggets.

My friends come back down, and the police remove the angry, drunken driver. We get in another taxi and make our way back to school. We spend some time just hanging out outside of hall 7, before I made a short stop in hall 4 to see team india. t this point I was barefoot since my feet were hurting from heels. The whole barefoot thing has never posed a problem before, but of courrrrse tonight was the night. As I'm walking back to my hall, I stumble and scrape my toe in the ground, nto really hurting I don't think anything of it. I proceed to look down and see that the skin on the top of my big toe has been peeled back and I am bleeding like it's my fricken job here, perrrrrfect. Bloody, shoeless, and returning to my dorm at about 6am, I'm sure i looked like a real prize.

I rinsed it off and put on some bandaids, but have yet to remove them due to the fact taht I'm scared of what my throbbing, newly-skinless daddy toe looks like. I'm hoping for the best.

Time for the gym, have to work off last night's good times lol.

Friday, May 7, 2010

hong kong brushing style. bothering.

8:30am - Drag my ass out of bed in hopes of making it to my marketing group meeting on time.

8:35am - Realize that people here brush their teeth in the most bothering way known to man. I'm standing at the sink, and look to my right only to see this girl bent directly over the sink, brushing away like theres no tomorrow, which is fine, I'm a fan of oral hygiene as well. But, her mouth is completely open and she is letting the toothpaste just fall out of her mouth as she's brushing, I have never seen so much foamy toothpaste in my life. This goes on for MINUTES. It's like a bad car accident, I didn't want to, but I just couldn't stop watching. If this does not give you the creepy crawlies, then once home, I will demonstrate the "hong kong brushing style" for you, you will never look at a tube of Colgate the same way again.

8:55am - Email my group to tell them I will be late, as there is no chance in hell of my making it to barn B in 5 minutes.

9:30am - Wonder why I even showed up for this meeting, based on the fact that all of my local nard groupmates are conversing in Cantonese, and semi-rudely butt in, asking them what we are talking about, and what exactly the problem is.

The next hour and a half continues on as such, cantonese chatting like it's their job, me sitting with my head in my hands, an abundance of blank stares at the "fishbein model" table that is up on the computer screen, with nobody saying anything. I had had enough and was like "okay so what's the issue here?", immediately wishing I hadn't. A million dumb ideas come spewing forth from one group member in particular, who also has the tendency to "suggest" things that had JUST been decided on like 5 minutes prior, soooooo over this. Finally the meeting ends with me being appointed to handle the Q&A in our presentation on Monday, and for some stupid reason, me offering to draft a copy of the recommendations section (6 pages, idiot much?).

Following this retarded ordeal disguised as a meeting, was a ridiculous, much needed recovery nap.

1:35pm - Wake up (once again) to go to some marketing experiment, during which we are asked to drink an entire cup of milk tea which "consists of black tea sweetened with evaporated milk", umm diabetic disaster? i think so. I explain to the experimenter that I can't drink the whole thing, but could maybe just have a few sips. She tells me to "just hold it" instead. Weeeeeird.

3:05pm -Meet lizbeast in the cafe for some diabetic-style french toast. Almost non-diabetic based on the fact taht the lady was half a second away from squeezing this big thing of honey all over it, it was literally a scene out of a movie, me running towards the counter yelling "nooooooooo", as if my life depended on eating those exact 2 slices lol, funny now, nerve racking at the time. She stops in the nick of time, and I happily break out my sf syrup in the oh-so-classy plastic bottle.

4:05pm - I am now searching through the halls for room 4218k, in which my next experiment is supposed to take place. I find 4218, and go inside, its a small hall with a collection of small rooms, assigned letters A-I. Hmmmm no K? Some little chinese girl joins me in the serach for the mystery experiment location, no dice.

4:25pm - I return to my room to send an angry email at this stupid experimenter that chose the most ridicuous non-existant room on campus to conduct research. Followed by me writing this entry. That is all for now.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

mystery man.

Funny story I just have to share. So those of you who know me well know that asian guys usually aren't my thing. Hence the reason that I haven't had to keep my pimp hand too strong over here in Chinard.com. Other than the exchange students we don't get exposed to too many western guys over here, so about a week ago, when from the back I see this sharply dressed white guy walking across the bridge to the elevator. Next thing I know I am literally speedwalking across the bridge to try and get in the same elevator as the mystery man. Anyone who could see me probably thought I had lost my marbs, and was the hugest creeper in the game; practically running through campus likeit was my job. Although I had just come from the gym, so maybe it looked like I was trying to get some exercise? Who knows. Point being, I finally make it into the elevator and the long-anticipated moment of seeing John Doe's face is finally here. I have to admit, all of the running didn't end up being worth it... Not as boss as I was expecting. The moral of this story, get me out of here before the presence of unfamiliar white men drives me absolutely bonkers.

ac.

Epic day. For some retarded rason I chose the day 10 days before I leave to start using our air conditioner. Better late than never I guess, but still an idiot move to wait so long. I never thought I would appreciate cool, non-disgustingly humid air so much... The little things that will make me happy when I return home.

Speaking of home, my professor decided to FINALLY respond to my email, 9 days later geeeeez. Based on the fact that he granted me an early exam, I was able to move my return flight up to May 16th. That means ten sleeps until Winnipeg's coolest diabetic returns home.... look out.

Next week might prove to be my most hectic week as of yet. A total of 4 exams, one presentation, and one paper. I'm praying to the gods to send me some intense work ethic over the next 8 days lol. Time to go back to my nard-bomber marketing project, the worst. Haagen Dasz of Ben and Jerrys? Whooooooooooo cares?!?

ps. i continue to boot cockraoches and large insects when they cross my path. represent.

Monday, May 3, 2010

perfect.

Wow. Today marks my 70th post, seems so crazy to me. I remember sitting in the vancouver airport on my long journey over here, trying to decide what my first entry would be. Three and a half short months later, the ups and downs of my entire hong kong life can be accessed by one single link. Unreal.

Today is a special day for another reason. We handed in our ad and promotion project, which means no more group meetings every day, and one less thing to worry about. perfect. I also took the liberty of sleeping in since my consumer behavior class has no more lectures wooooooo. Had a nice workout in the gym, and am now headed for a couple of hours of soccer with the boys (for which I decided to mow some serious oatmeal and an apple due to the fact taht I was low after the gym, the worst, since carbs are kind of the enemy at this point lol).

I'm being a huge tool and listening to the glee soundtrack as I write this which can only mean one thing... Wayyyyy too much time on my hands haha. Time to playyyyyy. Aurevoir =)

Sunday, May 2, 2010

pajama party. on acid.

Shenzhen. "a city of sub-provincial administrative status in southern China's Guangdong province, situated immediately north of Hong Kong."

Bonnie and I decided to join Liz, Coralie, Alex, and Charles on the short trip to SHanzhen on friday evening. After a long MTR ride, and some time spent at customs, I arrived in China for what would be my first official visit.

We had the craziest, best dinner I've had in Asia yet. It was a restaurant similar to ichiban where the meat was sizzling and the booze just kept on flowing. FOr what was abour $20CDN, we had fish, lamb, steak, scallops, shrimp, sushimi, and the list just keeeep son going; not to mention unlimited alcohol in the form of beer, wine, and sake. Trouble at the very least.

After dinner we headed to Queen Spa, which would end up being our accomodation for the night. The only way I can accurately describe this place is as an effed up slumber party, on acid. Our experience goes something like this:

-Walk in, greeted by people dressed in ridiculous outfits, complete with 7inch popped collars, and are each handed a bracelet that has a number on it, equipped with a computer chip.

-Go into the locker room where you are instructed to get naked, shower, and then are given a pair of pajamas identical to those of every other female in the building, and a pair of disposable underwear (i grabbed a few extra pairs for those of you at home who want to give them a shot, they're not as terrible as they sound). At this point I honestly felt as though I might have been in a prison. Get assigned a number, strip, shower, and get into uniforms. So strange.

What happens next was the weirdest part of all.

-We are ushered into an elevator and find ourselves on the 3rd floor (of 8 in total), that appears somewhat like a casino, somewhat like a dream, and somewhat like an adult slumber party. Let me explain, no windows, no clocks, unlimited fruit, tea, and ICE CREAM (diabetics worst nightmare), hundreds of people sitting in these big chairs with personal TVs attached, getting massages or sleeping. This place is both dark, and filled with lights at the same time.

Sidenote: there are machines with computer screens taht you can go up to, scroll through a series of pictures of the different masseuses, and choose which one you want. lol weird? i've heard poeople say that you often don't get the one you picked, but we're still not sure as to whether this place accomodated "happy endings". We opted out of the "choose your massage girl" thing and just took what we were given... Wouldn't have made any difference. Leave those machines for the pervs.

-Of course I go to the ice cream machine to test this bad boy out. BAD idea, sweetest, WORST ice cream of my life. I immediately throw my cone into the garbage and vow to never near that evil machine again (this says a lot considering I've admitted to being a legit addict). The tea turns out to be good, so we load up. I also mow some watermelon considering the doctor says I'm allowed to have as much as I want, perfect.

-We're a little buzzed from the wine at dinner so all of the girls decide to get a massage. We're lead throw winding hallways (which bonnie said looked like an oriental palace garden lol) to this room with 5 massage beds. Our girls come in, and start calling out our numbers in mandarin (this is when I'm thankful for having taken the LANG 113 course here), and the massages get underway. AT one point I fall asleep so hard that it takes about 3 of them to wake me up, oops.

-At this point, we have zero clue what time it is (people say its comparable to a vegas casino in the way that there are no clocks, and no sense of time), and are trying to find 5 chairs together so we can lie down. No dice. Some chinese employee takes us up to the 5th floor (vip style) and shows us this sleeping area. Essentially you sit in a big recliner, watch tv, chat, drink tea, whatever; and then once you fall asleep, they come turn your tv off, put a duvet over you, and tuck you in. I felt like I was on another planet.

-Before cashing it in for the night, we got another series of massages (full body massage was about $24 for 90 mins, foot massage $8, same with ehad massage). I got a head and foot at the same time and thought I had died and gone to heaven. As long as you spend a total of $168 yuan in a 24 hour period, you can spend the night for free. I really thought there was no way I was going to be able to fall asleep in this oversize recliner in this giant room (especially since there was a fricken freight-train like snorer right behind us), but one pair of earplugs and a couple massages later, I was toast.

-Wake up the next morning to go down to 3F and indulge in some more fruit and tea, before deciding to hit the streets for some serious shopping. One word, INSANE. The streets were ridiculously crowded, nobody spoke english, and everything was DIRT cheap. The only downside in these crazy markets is that you can't try anything on, so you end up eyeballing both for size, and style. Turns out I returned home with a tank top that fit fine other than not being able to fit over my boobs, a dress that was so short it's more of a shirt, and a dress that makes me look amish. awesome.

I made it back to hk at 1230 pm saturday night, and had a nice relaxing night in by myself, considering my roommate decided to head into the city for the weekend. Bonnie stayed in SHenzhen and decided to continue her journey to Guangzhou, which will be followed by Shanghai, and then Beijing (where we may meet up if the school workload isn't too heavy). World traveller much?

Very low-key weekend in all, as I spent the first half of today in bed, followed by lunch, schoolwork, group metting, and entourage sesh in mosis room. Ahhh I think I'm going to miss this place.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

who's in the house?

Be prepared for a good laugh... The consequences of anesthetics... could be fun, no?

special delivery.

One week ago today a special delivery arrived in Hong Kong.... BONNIE! I walk into the airport and we run towards eachother with open arms like idiots out of a movie,
I'm sure all of the asians though they were on candid camera or something. The next couple of days consisted of everything from daily workouts together, to Bonnie's first night out in LKF (including absinthe, ridiculous fruit crackers, and a night at the Cosmopolitan Hong Kong), a trip to the Peninsula for some overly-pretentious, over-priced "high tea", to some crazy shopping binges at the ladies market, as well as temple street. Highlights of her visit so far are as follows:

-Bonnie requesting a booze stop only hours after arriving, this was at 10am. We then proceed to the campus grocery store where we pick up mini bottles of wine that we drink on the bus and MTR on our way to the ladies market. so classy.

-Sitting on the step of a closed store in Mong Kok, drinking beers from 7eleven, Bonnie struggling so hard to open hers that she broke the tab off and proceeded to drink it through a straw. amateur.

-The two of us saying "riiiighhhht?" at the end of every sentence to the point that people around us were probably feeling sick to their stomachs.

-Getting dressed up for high tea, but getting so impatient waiting in the long line that the girls went and got Starbucks.
If this doesnt seem weird to you, imagine waiting in line somewhere comparable to the Fort Garry, but nicer, for the most pretentious tea party in allll of Hong Kong, while sipping out of a paper starbucks cup, and chowing down on a "Croc Monsiour" fresh from the microwave. Once again, my friends are ALL class.

-Bonnie and I busting a move in one of the shopping stalls along temple street as soon as good music came on, the girls in the shops around us start screaming and laughing and joining in. epic.

-The two of us getting taken upstairs into some secret room in a building bordering the ladies market. BLACKMARKET.COM. A large room, every wall equipped with shelves piled alll the way to the ceiling with purses of every brand you can imagine. And in the middle of the room, a huge table covered in watches, wallets, and shoes. We were pretty sure we might have died and gone to heaven. We wanted a picture, but pictures weren't allowed, for obvious reasons lol.

-Bonnie being the biggest pimp in the city and attracting gentlemen to pay for her tabs everywhere she goes, without even trying. Thank YOU!

All in all, the visit seems to havve been a success so far, and she still has three more weeks to go. We'll see how long her black runners last lol.

arctic glacier. from a showerhead.

I come home from an epic shopping experience at Hang Hau and make the decision that a shower is most definately in order (I had a massage and was oily.com) before heading to unibar. I jump in the shower after a longer than encessary facebook sesh, and proceed to latehr up, and get my canadian-imported conditioner alll over my head when the worst possible thing happens... The once-hot water goes cold. At this point I'm freezing and have no shame, so butt naked I go from stall to stall testing the temperature only to find that they are all as icy as the first. effffff my life. I retreat to stall 3 (2 is out of order), and try and rinse my hair without the watter touching my body, epic fail. I then start laughing since I can't believe that this is actually my life right now, standing in a hong kong shower, where it's usually humid beyond my wildest dreams, but freezing to death and wanting a cup of tea, like a fricken granny.

I then spent the next 3 hours sitting in my chair on my computer, wearing only my towel. Needless to say, I didn't end up making it to unibar, which is probably for the best as it usually results in an all out darts-war and copious amounts of peanut consumption. maybe next time.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

awkward? never.

Saturday marked the day I would take a major risk by getting my hair cut in Hong Kong. I must've googled for hair salons catering to westerners for hours before finally waving the white flag and realizing that there was no hope for me. A couple of exchangers had previously gone to "Salon Esprit" to get their hair cut, so I decided that was going to have to suffice as background information, and headed on down.

The first lady I tried talking to had to go get another employee who could speak english... At this point, any rational human being woulc've turned and walked out the door, but of course not me, I had to try and tough this one out... What an idiot. Turns out that my stylist can in fact speak english, I send up a thank you to the gods. I proceed to tell him how much I want cut off, at which point he talks me into getting a package that includes this moisturizing treatment as well as a pedicure, why the hell not right? WRONG. It turns out that this "pedicure" came with a bunch of strings, they asked me if for 100hk I wanted my calluses removed (which arent even bad by the way), ummm $13CDN for that, no thanks you sheister. Can't escapoe these people, really.

So after telling the stylist multiple times to stop cutting he finally listened, and sent me off with a young-ish asian boy wearing nail polish to get my hair washed. BEST 10 MINTUES OF MY LIFE; full sclap MASSAGE that I honestly could've endured forever, it was magical. If I was mega rich I would fly this emo asian kid across the ocean to wash my hair on the daily, no joke.

I leave the salon, $130CDN later with my moiturized, cropped hair, and my pink sparkly pedicure, ready to rip up the black and white affair also known as Tania and Laura's bday boat ride that night.

I had 30 mins to get ready, and to what will be great surprise from those who know me back home, I made it with time to spare, and even managed to shove a sandwich down my throat before boarding the boat for a night of sugarfree redbulls and vodka, and total debauchery.

Surprisingly enough, I survived the ridiculously unsteady boat ride in my 6 inch heels without falling even once, ohhh the things those sf red bulls will do for ya. The night eded up at Azure as usual, and after an $80hk drink, it was on to complete dance floor destruction. I think I even got kicked off of a table at one point, awkward? Never.

you rack disaprine. angry asians.

So it has been a few days, my apologies... Things have been a little hectic.

Friday: Went to Kowloon Tong mall to try and get people to fill out survey's for our marketing project, BAD idea. I've never felt uneasy about approaching people, but I had a strange incling that people here wouldn't be too responsive. Boy was I right.

The first guy Kim approached actually answered the whole survey, so we thought we were in lcuk...
All downhill from there, no joke. Kim practically got into a yelling match with some lady who was being really difficult, Tania ended up surveying a guy wearing a pink backpack and orange glasses, and a 21 year old american exchange student (our target was 45 year old professional family men lol), and I kept getting repeatedly shut down by angry asian jerks. I hate rejection.

The day ended on a brighter note with a nice meal at our oh-so-classy favorite asian restaurant, Mos Burger; as well as a moneyyyy purchase at Fortress of a wireless keyboard and mouse for my stupid laptops, which have both failed me. My regular laptop has a malfunctioning keyboard that continues to have more keys that don't work, as well as a garb.com touchpad that keeps crapping out on me and
a screen that won't turn on half of the time; while the keyboard on my netbook has also recently stopped working, kill me now. The kicker, is that the only keyboards I could get have chinese characters all voer them in addition to the regular letters, I asked if they had any plain keyboards, but the asian salespeople just laughed at me, seems to be a common occurence here. No mercy for the tall white girl.

Friday, April 16, 2010

the glucophage debocle.

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Wan Chai - balcony barfing.

This past Tuesday I made my "Hong Kong to-do List", consisting of things around the city that I want to get done before I come home. The list consisted of many things, among them were: go for tea at the Peninsula hotel, see the skyline light show at night, hike in Sai Kung, and "Visit Wan Chai - get fucked up". This last little tidbit following Wan Chai was only added for some comical relief, but ended up getting checked off, not even on purpose. The story goes:

I had decided earlier on in the day that for the first time ever, I was going to join the crew that night in Wan Chai. Around 10pm we all met up in Ramin's room for the pre-game. Since I had previously stated that I was not going to drink and instructed the boys to not let me do so, I showed up with 2 sugar free redbulls in hand. Upon arriving at the bar just before midnight I decided to get a vodka water from the bar (since it was ladies night and girls get in and drink for free).

1 drink later and I was destroying the dance floor.

1 more after that and I was sitting on the patio/balcony barfing like it was my job.

Disturbing, I know. I have no idea what the heck happened, those of you who knew me in my drinking prime know that 3 drinks wouldn't even get me warmed up, apparently I have become a lightweight, I never thought this day would come.

The guys were sure that I was sick because I was low on sugar, and proceeded to run across the street to 7 11 to buy me ice cream and sat there feeding it to me like a little baby, while I proceeded to spit it out, telling them I didn't want it (first and only time that I will EVER turn down ice cream, guaranteed).

Not only did I get strangely drunk off of a ridiculously small amount of alcohol (maybe I shouldn't have asked the bartender for more vodka?), I somehow managed to lose my ocotopus card, as well as my driver's license (that I brought along for ID). Thankfully I didn't bring my credit card, mom and dad would prrrrobably have made me join some form of chinese AA... "My name is Kendall and I have a problem. That problem being that your shitty bottom of the barrel vodka and crappy bartenders have now ruined my life. Thanks for nothing."

I managed to get home in one piece with team india and boonie. They later told me that they got to enjoy the smell of my vomit the entire cab ride home... Sorry guys.

This story is bothering on so many levels. I had previously help up my end of the bargain I had with myself... To not puke in Hong Kong. Had it been necessary that I break this promise, I would have preferred it be in a toilet, and in private, not on a balcony at a crowded bar, with my head between my legs. Classy as ever. NAT.

Sidenote: not that it makes it any better whatsoever, but I would like to note that there were 3 other girlfriends of mine, and one male friend that joined the puking symphony that night. One of them barfing on a friend's lap on the cab ride home. Suckkkkka.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

40 days. the countdown is on.

It's official, I'm coming home. Not now of course, but the night we got back from Thailand I booked my return flight home. It feels so much more real now that I actually have a date to look forward to. The Magic date is May 24th, and the countdown is on. Not that I'm not having the time of my life over here, because I definately am, but I definately miss home. It's not even the finer things, or the many amenities that home provides, that I miss the most. I can deal with my tiny bed, my hot room, and my frizzy hair. I just want to get back to movie nights in, hugs from friends, and maybe the odd grilled chicken breast lol, no bones, no skin, and not swimming in questionable asian sauce.

Sidenote: I am proud to say that for the first time EVER (while booking my flight home on Sunday night), I was asked to turn my music down by someone in my hall lol. I was playing some serious Carrie Underwood while browsing for flights (at a decent volume level because my roomate had not yet returned from spring break). Also, if you judge the choice of Carrie as my nighttime serenade, then suck it and stop reading. I heard what sounded like a knock at the door, but ignored it as, of course, as I was way too caught up in "Inside your Heaven". A couple minutes later I heard it again and said "come in", this asian girl appears in my doorway, dressed in what must have been her little sisters pajamas, and said "can you turn that down please?", for those of you who remember back to the time when another girl in my hall asked me to stop skyping in the hallway because I was being "annoying", know that this asian girl is way more polite, nice, and cute. So I waved the white flag, admitted defeat, and shut Carrie up for the night. Being nice pays off.

Interesting story, I decided I was going to have a little cheat yesterday and ate a chocolate bar around mid-afternoon. Usually if I do this I have to go to the gym immediately after so that my BS stays under control, but of course I was lazy and decided to leave the sweating for later. An hour and a half later I checked my BS (I had taken no insulin), and it was (drumroll please) NORMAL. What the heck is going on here?! Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe my ridiculous amounts of time in the gym are leading to total diabetes destruction... Lets hope.

Last night I decided that I was going to try on my dress pants and skirt that I brought from home since I have some presentations coming up. Badddd idea. Apparently my efforts to beef up my bum have paid off. Bigtime. I also assume that the fact I went shopping for these items at the peak of my diabetic ridiculousness, and therefore the time when I was the thinnest EVER, may add to the problem. The problem being that the damn pants won't fit over my ass, damn you stairmaster, damn you. Looks like I'm going to have to step up the diet in order to keep the booty under control, the worst.

Monday, April 12, 2010

they DO love us.

Even most of my closest friends don't know this, but if I'm a sucker for anything, it's a good book fair. I started experiencing irregular heart palpitations as I approached the concourse on floor 1 and saw tables and tables piled high with every type of book imaginable. I held it together and walked right on by, reason being that I am currently in the process of reading 3 different books; buying another one just wouldn't make sense... Or would it? I kept thinking about this ridiculous book orgy all day and after dinner at the cafe, decided to just "take a look". Well this worked about as well as letting a fat kid just "take a look" at a room filled with the biggest, baddest chocolate cakes of all time. Before I knew it I had 3 books in hand, and was still looking. Thankfully Tania was there with me and had decided to buy one called "The 5 people you meet in heaven", which made me feel as though I should only buy one as well (I mean, nobody wants to be the girl getting the large fries when everyone else is having a salad right?). I stood there trying to decide between a fictional story about the holocaust, and a how-to book about starting up a business, but finally decided on "Why Men Love Bitches". A few of my (male) friends relentlessly tried to explain to me that men do NOT love bitches, but I think the book has a point in explaining that men do not like a doormat either... Nottttt that I started to read it or anything lol. I'll keep you posted on the reading progress, my room is starting to look like Barnes & Noble, bring on the starbucks.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

i am mogli.

Lying sprawled across 4 seats in the Bangkok airport I am going to attempt to recount my last crazy week in Thailand. At the same time I am going to try and not make it a length that it novel-worthy so that you don’t want to kill me by the time it’s done…

After my first ever ride on a night train -or any train for that matter; which included a delicious Thai meal (although microwaved), as well as a bathroom that was home to an extremely large window (passers-by for sure saw me taking care of my biz), and an extremely irritable attendant (wore a mask and grunted most of the time), we arrived in the pride and joy of northern Thailand known as Chiang Mai.
Although the train was an hour late, our guide stood at the “meeting point” holding a sign with Liz Beast’s name on it. The two of us, along with a new friend we had made on the train by the name of Carmen (from Idaho), headed with the guide (alias “Bang”) to Buddy Tours to prepare for what may have been the most intense, eye-opening three days of my life.

We were given a small sack in which we had to pack everything we would need for the ass-kicking that was about to begin, and told that we had ten minutes before we needed to leave. After picking up the rest of the crew (Mike and Chris, from Vancouver and England respectively), we stopped at a market to pick up some last minute must-haves: bug spray, sunscreen, water, and booze. The truck then took us to a temple (this is where the ass-kicking began with 5 minutes worth or stair-climbing to reach the top), and to a waterfall where we swam and ate lunch. At this point I was loving this “jungle trek”, getting driven from point A to point B, and still taking in Chiang Mai and all of its beauty, I was clearly living the life. It would be about 10 minutes after getting into the truck after that last waterfall that I would really eat my words.

The truck stops and we are instructed to grab our stuff and get out, a small trail is visible to the right, and I begin to think that maybe this wasn’t such a great idea after all… But it’s too late now, turning back was literally not an option. Off we go on about an hour hike until we reach our first waterfall (sidenote: pretty much every stop on this trek was a waterfall), which came as a nice surprise as we all needed a cool down. It was only when we started changing into our bathing suits that I realized that God really does hate me; mother nature had decided to pay me a special visit, almost two weeks early, in the middle of the jungle. Shoot me now. Clearly I wasn’t prepared for this and almost started to cry, I was NOT about to live like my ancestors, no fricken way. Luckily, our new found friend Carmen WAS prepared, my guardian angel, I’m sure of it.

The rest of the day’s events consisted of hiking, sweating, being sure that I was going to die, sending up prayers to the god that I had previously cursed, and after surviving what I would have previously considered hell- being convinced that I was now the queen of the jungle. We had stopped every one or two hours to swim and eat, but other than that it was physical exertion 101.

We spent the night in a “camp”. This camp had no electricity, no running water, and was run by some thai guys that used a cell phone in a tin cup for music. We slept in a bamboo hut, with a roof made of banana leaves; no mattress, no legit pillow, just a mosquito net and an itchy blanket. This place made the camp that played home on our second night seem like a 5 star Hilton, mostly because we had a mattress, AND a roof… This place had it all.

Sidenote: I bet aloud that Carmen would have to break out her first aid kit in the first hour of the trek. Surprise surprise, Kendall falls and gashes her knee within the first ten minutes. Damn my betting ways.

I almost admitted defeat on the second day. At one point we climbed literally straight up for about 300m, and I once again almost started to cry. This was probably the complaining high point of the trek, during which Liz Beast was trying her very best to motivate me by telling me “mind over matter”, and “one step at a time”; while I was silently telling her to shut up and just let me die here, it would be far less painful.

Somehow I managed to make it to the top, and I think every part of my body imaginable was sweatier than anything I had ever thought possible. It was at this point that I started counting down the hours until we would be back on solid, paved ground in Chiang Mai. I figured it to be about 30. Fml.

The second day also played host to the day when both Liz and I would bail, hard. I was actually pretty impressed that these were the only major falls we took, as there were at least 20 instances when I almost died, I’m convinced that had it not been for the past month and a half of core training, I would be a mangled mess somewhere in the jungle, still.

Our camp on the second night seemed like a 5 star resort when we arrived (as mentioned above), it had a shower (shower head attached to the side of a tree), an actual toilet (that flushed), and a place where you could get massages (2 ladies from the camp that chatted in Thai the whole time and hugged us like it was their job at the end). I am convinced that the “pillows” at this place were full of sand, as I have never woken up in so much pain, I would describe the pain as someone repeatedly stabbing an oversized steak knife into the base of my scull, resulting in sharrrrrp pains shooting every which way down my neck and shoulders… But hey, at least the place had a roof.

I would also like to sidenote that both of our tourguides got relatively/extremely inebriated off of moonshined rice whiskey both the first and second night. Based on the way I was handling the “trekking” without any alcohol in my system, drinking even the tiniest amount of alcohol did not even register as an option. The small bottle of Sangsom rum that was weighing down my pack stayed full the entire time. Mom will be proud.

The third day felt like a fricken vacation after the previous two. We hiked only for a total of an hour with our first destination being a waterfall, at which some annoying European child couldn’t wait 5 seconds for me to finish climbing up from the river before barreling down the rocks and making me slip and scrape up my leg. I then decided to remark loud enough so that the stupid kid’s mom could definitely hear “I don’t understand why people can’t just WAIT until we’re at the top, WHERE are this kid’s parent’s?!”. At this point in the trip I was a force to be reckoned with, I was dirty, in pain, and at my wit’s end; today was NOT the day for this little punk to cross me.

The elephant riding was neat, getting repeatedly sneezed on by the large dirty mammal was not. It was hot, and we were sweating to the point that by the time we got off the elephant it looked like I had been sitting in a puddle of water, sick but true. Bamboo rafting was the best possible way to end our trip. We sat on a raft in our bathing suits while a guy paddled us down the river. This happened to be right before the water festival was about to take place, so people splashed us while yelling ‘happy new year’ the entire ride. At first I was bitter about the splashing and was like “okay, we’re good, thanks” (those of you who know me well can more than likely properly imagine me saying this), but eventually got into it and started splashing everyone (especially little kids) before they even splashed me, suckerrrrrrs. I felt kind of bad splashing some of the kids, like I was at the neighborhood pool and their parents were going to come yell at me asking me what the hell my problem was, but the opposite turned out to be true, the parents laughed and smiled and splashed them too. I started to really like this place. I was in the jungle, and I was home.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

red shirts. suck it.

So I survived the jungle trek, and a few days in bangkok. Don't worry, i will fill you in on every single detail once I return to Hong Kong, if I even make it there... For those of you who haven't heard, Thailand is in a state of emergency right now as there are huge riots of protestors who are anti-government and want the prime minister to step down... Needless to say the city is a mess. We decided to not even leave our hotel tonight, less than a couple kilometers away from Kaosan Road (where we, as well as almost every backpacker in the world it seems, are staying) over 500 people have been injured and sent to hospital, with 5 dead. I can't adequately describe the madness that is Bangkok right now so check the links below for more info. I guess I won't be making it to the ping pong show, ah well.

ps. also had my first encounter with tear gas today, stupid red shirts.

http://arabnews.com/world/article41436.ece
http://www.nationmultimedia.com/home/
http://www.bangkokpost.com/

Sunday, April 4, 2010

KFC. 12 hour trains. and thai prostitutes.

computer battery is running extremely low so this is going to be short and sweet. sitting in a kfc inside the train station trying to stay cool... eating a piece of chicken that I got for buying wifi access, listening to my new fave beyonce and r kelly song, gay I know. I've decided to get back on the postcard train and bought a bunch taht will get written on our 12 hour train ride to Chiang Mai. Thankfully it's a sleeper train and we have a bunk together. Tomorrow will bring a 3 day, 2 night jungle trek... Including hiking, bamboo rafting, rubber boating (whatever that is), and elephant riding. NBD. I would also like to let everyone know that it IS true that you get what you pay for; my $20USD backpack from the ladies market now has 2 broken zippers. Damn that thing. Needless to say it will be going in the garbage when we return to hk. Definately worth investing ina good backpack, as many of my friends from home had previously advised me.

I'm hoping nobody smokes on this train, or smells bad for that matter. I also hope there is plenty of tp, as places around here must assume that people just happen to carry some around in their back pocket, annoying. I bought a book about thai prostitution which should make the ride a little less boring... Or disturbing, one or the other.

Of course we had our routine starbucks stop when we arrived at the BKK airport this morning... Annnnd sat their on our laptops for a couple of hours, kind of humiliating. Battery life is now at 14% which is getting kind of risky, signing off for now, and might (more than likely) not have wifi in the middle of the jungle, so this will probably be the last post for a few days, but don't worry about me... I will be exploring the jungle to the max-man vs wild styles. For those of you who can't imagine me travelling without a suitcase and a curling iron, you mighhhht not recognize me when I return home haha, let's hope thats not the case. peace be with you, and you! haha aurevoir =)

Saturday, April 3, 2010

thailand part one. madness.

As I sit here on the ferry from Koh Tao to Koh Samui, documenting my last 5 crazy days in this country, I sip a cold Thai beer (Singha to be specific), looking out at the water, I have come to realize everything that is wrong with big city life… Too many honking cars, hair straighteners, and concerns. This is where I need to be, bigtime.

Its official, I survived the full moon party. Some of you may have doubted my abilities to control myself on a beach with upwards of 20,000 people decorated in fluorescent paint, consuming copious amounts of alcohol out of little buckets; and in fact you would be fairly accurate.

Our first night on Koh Panghan began with a nice dinner on the beach followed by some artistic efforts on our part (body painting), and some drinks at the resort bar (appropriately named ‘Heaven’. We got in a taxi and headed off to the party around 11pm. I don’t know exactly what it was that I expected, but this wasn’t it. Groups of people decked out in neon and beach attire crowded the street as we approached the beach, and there were tables full of mini buckets containing a small bottle of alcohol and a can of pop as far as the eye could see. We hopped off of the taxi and began what was perhaps one of the most epic nights of my life.

Before I knew it I had a Sangsom (thai rum) and diet coke bucket in hand and was headed for the beach. We were lucky because 2 schoolmates of mine from Winnipeg were on the island at the time (their family owns the resort we were staying at) and took us to the party.
The entire beach was packkkkked with people partying like it was their job. Most of the people were sporting fluorescent paint like ours, pretty much a highlighter party lol. Before I knew it was had run into at least 15 other people from HKUST and were dancing on tables along the beach, which of course I managed to fall off of (so typical).
On that note, I should probably share that I also managed to slightly bail down a set of extremely steep stairs in “Drop in Bar”, but some lifesaving gentleman that was at the bottom caught me and broke my fall (typical once again). I honestly don’t even know where the night went because before I knew it it was 4:30am and I was eating the most delicious crepe of my life with Manelle and Pascale, and getting a taxi back to the resort.

I should probably add the sidenote that both Liz and I discovered the true quality of our stupid ladies market sandals at the full moon party, considering one of each of ours BROKE while on the beach…. Perfect. A friend of the twins somehow got Elizabeth a pair of white Havianas from some place on the beach which she realized in the morning were too big. Me, on the other hand, took the very classy road of going home with no shoes at all lol. This meant good things for me however, since she gave me the sandals in the morning, scorrrrre.com. Not all of our friends had as good of a time as us... We found both Hakon and Anders passed out on the beach at some point, and anders again on the concrete somewhere on Haad Rin. I also need to thank Manelle and Pascale for talking me out of getting a tattoo on the beach, which for some reason I was convinced was a good idea lol.


Upon arriving back at the resort I stormed into Jorgen’s room convinced that he had somehow misplaced our room key, I’m pretty sure I yelled at him for a good ten minutes before going back to where we stashed the key, and finding it exactly where we had left it lol. I guess that’s what 2 buckets will do to ya.

I woke the next morning (afternoon actually) in an extremely sandy queen sized bed, realizing that I had apparently opted out of a much needed shower the night before. Upon finally dragging my butt out of bed I noticed a huge gash down the right side of my stomach, a huge gash on my foot, some scrapes and bruises and my leg, and a weird pain in my right knee. Needless to say, the full moon party definitely meant total bodily destruction on my part. The worst.

The day was spent recovering (inside and in the restaurant since it wasn’t the best weather), and having an unreal steak dinner on the beach after sunset. Of course, everyone decided they wanted to go back to Haad Rin to party. I made the executive decision not to consume any alcohol and stuck by it the whole night. Good thing, because it turned out to be the most drama filled evening since I’ve been in Asia. None of it involving me for once, but being the only sober one of the group, I definitely paid the biggest price. After convincing everyone at around 4am that we should head back, we jumped in a taxi, Jorgen and Anders decided they were going to hang onto the back and ride on the bumper… I’m pretty sure I almost had a heart attack because I was SURE they were going to fall off. At one point Elizabeth, drunk and emotional, decided that she was going to storm off of the taxi and into some random place to use the washroom. Anders jumped off and went to go get her. He walked into the building, not removing his shoes, and was immediately grabbed by these 3 thai guys who had him in a choke hold and started kicking him in the back and pushing him… At this point I practically peed my pants because I was so scared for him, and bothered that either of them had gone into this building in the first place. Finally Elizabeth came out, Anders shut his mouth, and we continued on back to the hotel. Sidenote: there was this one girl at the beach party that couldn't have been older than 14, and she was practically seizuring on the dance floor (her take on dance moves I guess), I personally saw her make out with 3 different guys, and this was in a matter of an hour. My guess was either lady-boy, or hooker, never did quite figure it out.

Unlike anyone else, I was feeling great the next morning. Manelle and Pascale’s mom (the resort owner) had to come knocking on our door to wake us up for our taxi the next morning. We got all packed up, and caught the taxi to the ferry.
We arrived on the ferry in Koh Tao in the afternoon and got to our beautiful resort (Bans Diving) just in time to catch a couple of hours of sun. After dinner we ventured over to Lotus Bar, where there were tonnnns of young backpackers like us. Sidenote: a ridiculous amount of Scandinavians here, all pretty goodlooking if I say so myself. At this point we had met up with another group of 4 from UST staying at our resort… a couple of the girls and I bought some jewelry on the beach and headed back pretty early.

I decided to leave the door to our room unlocked since Elizabeth didn’t have a key, and when I got woken from my sleep at about 2 am I was greeted by none other than Hakon and not Elizabeth. Apparently Jorgen wasn’t back yet and Hakon had no key and wanted to know if he could sleep in our room till Jorgen returned. This guy was being bombedcity.com at this point, which royally annoyed me, but I said yes. He then asked me if I had a cigarette (again, annoyed), I said no. He then told me he was really sandy, so I told him he had to shower before getting anywhere near our bed. Apparently he needed a full hose down, since we still ended up with a small beach of sand in the bed. The shenanigans just continued for the next 20 minutes filled with drunk rambling and him asking me for a hug and if I was wearing a thong lmao. It was at this moment that I took him pillow and literally put it on the opposite edge of the bed and told him to lie there and not move. Elizabeth returned minutes later (thank god) and I told Hakon that he had to go, he got really angry but anyone who knows me knows not to mess with my sleep lol. The next day he felt bad and said he was going to buy me flowers to make up for it, but I said I’d prefer he just promise never to do it again and that I was going to warn every room to keep their door locked from now on.

Yesterday we took a taxi boat with Tania, Boonie, and Laura and went to Koh Ngan Yuang for the day. It’s comprised of a couple tiny islands connected by a strip of sand and is only about ten minutes from Koh Tao. We wanted to get our tan on, and boy did we everrrr. Let’s just say that even though I religiously put sunscreen on every 45 minutes, many parts of my body still fried. Weird parts too, like the inside of my thighs, and the tops of my hands. Booooo. By 5oclock we were more than ready to head back to Koh Tao, I was sitting on the pier trying to cover up as much as possible with my towel for what seemed like forever; our boat driver was in no rush apparently. To make this story even better, our boat broke down about 10 times on the way back to the island. And any boats that approached us to help, he just waved away. I actually started to cry for about ten seconds, before it turned to laughter. I had just wanted so bad to get back to the resort and slather my body in aloe that it was almost comical we were stuck in between the two islands with a bum motor.

Upon arriving back on the island (finallllly) 4 of us decided we were going to get Aloe Vera massages. Oh My God. Cold aloe vera being slathered allll over my body actually felt like heaven on earth. And then they did some strange Thai stretch things with us… Tania couldn’t stop laughing, but I was just worried she was going to snap my neck lol. I then proceeded directly to the little convenience store and bought a bottle of cooling aloe gel that I have used half of haha. Last night I was literally applying it every half hour, I just want this sun burn so go awayyyyy. Last night I put it in the fridge and was again in heacen as I slathered it all over my body this morning, although the burn already looks sooooo much better and it’s really only the back of my neck that’s really red. I do not need to be fricken burnt for the jungle… that would be the worst evverrr.

Today the strangest thing happened. I was sitting using the computer in this little internet café type thing along the street and saw 2 girls I knew from Winnipeg walk by on the street. I went to go outside, but by the time I got there they were nowhere to be found, small small world. So that brings everyone up to speed on what is happening in my life right now. I refuse to leave this place without having a traditional Thai massage, so that’s my mission for tonight haha. I am now done my beer and am going to take a nap like every other person on this ferry. TaTa for nowww =)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

taken for a ride. literally.

So the first leg of our journey turned out to be a bit defeating. We left campus at 6 to catch our Air Asia flight to Bangkok. After arriving in Bangkok we got into taxis to go to our hostel and the following events ensued:

-The taxi driver drove us around completel unnecessary highways to make the trip longer and his pay higher, making us pay highway tolls and screaming at us the whole time. Elizabeth finally told him that she would pay him the 800 Baht just to shut up lol. She also gave him a piece of her mind screaming back at him saying "do NOT mess with me right now, I am TIRED and LOOK at my EYE, do you SEE how red it is?! Fianlly we decided to just get out and switch taxis, at which point we decided that by the time we got to the hostel we would have like one hour before having to head back to the airport. So we showed the taxi driver our flight info and told him we needed to the airport.

-25 mins later we arrive at this dinky little airport that wasn't even OPEN. Airport security told the taxi driver where we actually needed to be so we headed back to the international airport at which we had arrived 3 hours before.

-Once arriving the drier told us it was 900 baht and Anders told him noooo way and said he knew he was trying to "fool us". He accepted 600 and we got the heck out of there. When we got inside we discovered that the other norweigna guys had agreed to pay their driver 1500 baht... Talk about no barganing skills.

-Hung out in the airport for the next 4 hours eating terrible thai food, drinking starbucks, and getting extremely painful; thai foot and shoulder massages.

-The boys didn't being with them the credit cards they used to purchase their second plane tickets online so they had to get them cancelled and re-purchase with a different card.

-Got my diabetic meal on the plane, which consisted of an apple and orange... Ummmmm sugar.com. no thanks.

-Went to catch the fery at which point there was pretty much a monsoon and were drenched for the nexthour on the boat that was spent sleeping.

-Finally arrived at our resort, our bungalow is literally right on the beach and it is so beautiful. I kept commenting on how beautiful it was when we were all laying down to nap upon arival, and Elizabeth told me that if I wanted to continue commenting on it I could do so outside where not everybody was trying to sleep lol.

-Time to go eat (ps. we can charge everything to the room here... scorrrrre)

over and out. beware of thai taxi drivers.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

100% deet. uhhohhh.

Most of this week has been thailandplanning.com (we leave tomorrow nbd). I've been working out like its my job and trying to stick to this rash diet. Throwing in the odd muffin or McDonalds sundae to keep myself sane. This week proved to be a turning point as I went out to LKF both friday AND saturday night, which hasn't happened for at least 6 weeks probably. Saturday night I went out wearing a flashdance tanktop and hipping headband, and I honestly felt like I do back at home, awesommmmmme. Everyone tends to really dress up here and I think tahts why I haven't been going out as much lately. But now that I have discovered my true self once more I'm back in action full time. Elizabeth kept telling me I looked like a 7 on the retard scale but that was hoenstly fine with me. Of course the flashdance tank is going to be a staple on the trip to thailand.

Spent most of the daytime sleeping this weekend... Maybe it's because of all of the destruction taking place in the gym, or in LKF, who knows. Today was spent trying to finish this stupid judgement and decision making assignment thats due Tuesday, but we need to hand it in tomorrow. Soooooo stupid, definatley not a fan, but thats the crap that comes along with university I suppose geeeeesh.

Elizabeth and I ventured to the Ladies Market yesterday in hopes of finding backpacks for Thailand. Mission accomplished. After convincing her that getting the child-sized one because it was pink, or the slightly larger than school sized backpack was a bad idea just because it was a nice shade of blue, we settled on these "Mountain Gear" matching backpacks (mines orange and hers red). How dorky to the max are we going to look on this trip?! Hopefully the real backpackers don't make fun of us for our beginner ways =S

Ramin loaded us up witha bunch of travelling shtuff such as 100% deet (to avoid malaria in the jungle), sleeping sheets, and anti-diarrhea pills, which makes me feel a bit more prepared. He also convinced us that we should go to the school clinic before we leave and get some antibiotics to bring just in case, so we might have to do that. I have yet to pack, which is a big deal on my part since Im usually the 2 week pre-packer; obviously this place is changing me. I honestly think I'm going to come home a bit of a different girl... In a good way I hope.

Well its late late late and I'm going to call it a night, I'll update tomorrow before I leave =)

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

cracking the code.

A friend on campus that goes by the alias "hank moody" has just updated his facebook status and I decided that it was something that needed to be shared, no questions asked:

"Congratulations! My little Chinese friends- you cracked the code!!!! The lift's speed increases exponentially with every time you press the button!"

lift=elevator. If you saw the way these kids stab at those buttons you would understand. If you don't find this even the least bit hilarious then you might want to re-evaluate your life. Thanks.

Monday, March 22, 2010

zero smooching on prom night.

This past week has been a blurr, I honestly don't even know what I have done with all of my time lol. Friday consisted of shopping for a dress for prom (which I didn't find so I just wore one from home), finding a "City Super" which had a much bigger selection of sugar-free products than any store I have found so far, skipping LKF in favour of a 3 mile run on campus and a decent sleep, and dancing around my room in nothing but my undies for about an hour (don't judge until you have tried it, quite liberating).

Saturday was the day of what was dubbed "hkust prom 2010" by Ramin himself. I had a nice sleep in and then hit the track again before deciding it was finally time to get ready. I attempted to straighten my hair, but once again the weird weather here didn't really cooperate with me lol.
At exactly 7 oclock the evening began; schedule of events to follow (directly from the fb event's page):

Ramin Ghaneeian March 19 at 12:47pm Reply
Hey Everyone,

The time has finally come. Moses Jooharian has been waiting for this moment since 1989. Prom Night. The Game Plan is below.


7:00pm - Girls meet in Hall 7 for a girls pregame
Guys meet in Hall 6, 10th floor common room for a guys pregame

7:45pm - Girls come to Hall 6, 10th floor common room for THE pregame

8:30pm - We get in taxis and go to Lawry's Steak House in Causeway Bay
http://www.diningcity.com/hongkong/restaurantlawry20/index_eng.jsp

After Dinner - We go to Club Mint in Soho
http://www.m1ntglobal.com/

Allow me to elaborate...

Girls pregame: Go to hall 7 to be met by bottles of both rum and vodka, as well as coolers and redbull to get the night started. Get decently boozed up before making the trek to hall 6 to meet the guys (since they refused to be gentlemanly enough to come to our pregame location)

THE pregame: Let the boozing continue, champagne is popped and a toast to Ramin is made for planning the evening (anticipated). Before we know it we are outside getting into 7 taxis all lined up waiting for us.

Dinner: Sooooo good. Choice of either prime rib, sea bass, or pasta. Accompanied by copious amounts of wine. Personally, I chose the fish... Best (maybe only good) choice of the evening lol.

Mint: Good from what I can remember. Bottle service. House music. Manoj getting pushed into a table and breaking a $400 (US) bottle of champagne. Me "losing" my camera for it to be later recovered in tania's purse. Elizabeth searching the floor of the club (lights off) for one of her fake eyelashes lol.

Post Prom: Making the cabbie stop at sev so that I could get a snickers dark (only to prevent hypoglycemia of course =). Eating a cup of noodles from the cending machine flavored "curry seafood", almost barfing when I saw it sitting on my desk in the morning.

Sunday was spent laying in bed recovering and having the biggest cheat day of my life. It also played host to the first time McDonalds has touched my lips since I've been away from home. It had the usual effect, great at first... Not the best an hour later. My roomate returned from the city at 6 am to find me half naked sleeping on top of my sheets only to ask "you're taking a nap?", to which I of course answered yes... A 6 hour long nap bahaha.

SO I've been looking for yoga on campus ever since I got to this place, and today I see this booth set up that has a poster saying something about the Health and Fitness courses the school offers (which I know has something to do with the yoga here) so I go up to the table and ask "Hi I was just wondering if you have information about the yoga classes?", which is followed by these 3 asian students giving me the blankest stares of my life. So I stupidly do this ridiculous yoga pose with my hands above my head and say slowly and loudly... "YO-GA?". One of them then turns to me and says (in perfect english) "ummm we're from the orchestra club". Well I took no time turning and getting the hell away from there, humiliating.com. I still ask myself whyyyyy the damn orchestra club would have a poster talking about the health courses... If only everything was in english.

I also had the pleasure of having my student card run out of money in the process of doing laundry today. Perfecccccct. So I ask this asian guy in the laundry room if I can reload it on the ground floor of our building, to which he responds no and tells me I have to go to the machine at LG7. On the way down there I run into these american guys who tell me I can in fact reload the card in my building, but after making half of the trek I just continued to the more distant LG7. I have said before that I had never seen so much laundry hanging everywhere. LIE. Today is the ultimate worst with clothes strewn everywhere in an effort to be dried on the asap.

So this has been my past week in a nutshell. I'll be sure to throw up some updates if anything comes to mind =)

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

baptist hospital. once again.

So I decided to throw a couple random hk updates in the mix, things that I keep meaning to include, but always slip my mind:

-almost half of the time I go to use the washroom on our floor (all girls floor by the way), the toilet seat is UP. And it's not like they've just been cleaned... Like someone has just come out of the stall up. I have no idea wat would possess a tiny asian girl to lift the seat while going to the washroom (chances are she's going to fall in anyways), and then not even put it back DOWN when she's done. Bothering.

-they are now doing work in the 8th, 9th, and 10th floor common rooms which means that I have t go all the way down to the 7th floor for hot water (the coffee and tea addiction has taken a slight break due to this inconveniency).

-I have now had the bbq pork from LG1 for lunch about 5 days in a row. What can I say, it's something that I can count on around here lol. Annnnd it seems pretty decent for me, so thats a plus.

-My blood sugar has actually been dropping BELOW normal lately (without any increase in insulin), which means that my diet and exercise must be doing their job. There are times when eating a meal I don't have to take ANY fast acting insulin anymore, feels so good.

-The fan has been mysteriously turning off again, and due to the fact that I only have one available outlet (my fridge uses the other one) I can't always leave my fan on. Lets not start this again, seriously.

I'm headed to the doctors in about 15 minutes, at which point they will pit me against my worst enemy once again, clearly the enemy in question is the fricken scale. If it does not read lower than last time I will have no choice but to bathe myself in ben and jerry's while consuming dangerous amounts of mrs. fields cookies. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

I officially have a date for "prom", which is on Saturday. Hakon asked me today only to recieve an "Of course!" blurted out of my mouth excitedly, I was getting a little nervous there for a while. This means one thing... Shopping. Based on the fact that the dr's is near a large, large mall. I'll probably pop over to look for something afterwards. This would be before I have to return for some stupid mandatory presentation that we have to go watch tonight (a wednesday), for a tuesday/thursday class that I have. This means I will arrive late to the St Patty's day festivities... Not Impressed. On my trip to the mall I will also need to acquire some new headphones, as the once-trusty air-canada ones that were given to me on the plane over here hae failed me. They literally do not work the tiniest bit, and as working out without music, and skyping without sound really aren't my idea of a good time, I have decided to invest in some new ones. So off I go to another visit to the Hong Kong Baptist Hospital, here goes nothin.

rational mexican hookers.

I have started a surprisingly interesting new book called "The Logic of Life", written by the same guy that wrote "The Undercover Economist" (for those of you who may have read it. I figured it was time to stop polluting my brain with stories of rich New York socialites "Trading Up", and move on to something a bit more... Educational? For a more educational read, this thing is hilarious; one of the many topics discussed is how mexican hookers use rational decision making in dealing with clients, and it actually makes sense! Needless to say, it isn't quite as engrossing as my previous book, but it gets the job done for distraction from my burning legs during cardio.

Today I had both my first, and my last, midterm. Judgement and Decision Making in Organizations was my task for the day, and ended up being less tough than I figured. Of course I totally blanked when it came time to compute certainty equivalents and risk premiums but that was only worth about 3 points anyways... So I should be okay. I spent the entirety of my day in my room studying for this bad-boy, leaving only once to get food before retreating back to the books.

I'm trying this new thing where I drink coffee before bed, as one of my friends told me it's supposed to help with weight loss? If not then he's just effing with me and trying to cut my sleep time, although that hasn't been an issue just yet. There are really no other updates, as the past few days have been devoted to studying. Tomorrow is St. Patrick's day, and may end up being my first time out to Wan Chai on a wednesday... Wish me luck.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

the hunt is on.

So the latter part of my Saturday was an epic fail; consisting of me lying in bed for about 7 hours watching gossip girl and then losing the all mighty race against the clock for food on campus. Let me explain.

After a long morning/afternoon of playing soccer I decided I would shower and relax for a little bit. The got a little bit out of hand when I started watching Gossip Girl season 3. I should've known better than to even start, because I had zero willpower and continued clicking on the ensuing episodes. Next thing I knew, it was 845pm and I hadn't eaten since lunch at noon. I quickly threw on a pair of sweats and ran out the door. At this point I looked a complete disaster; ZERO makeup, air dried hair, sweats and a sweatshirt (lacking bra), and the trusty adidas flip flops. I went up to LG1, closed. I continued to the cafe, which had "chicken filet with tomato sauce" as their only option, which was not in the least bit appealing to me. I then took the elevator to LG5 (which I knew would be open) and barely got the door open before I turned away and started walking down the stairs. As some beautiful european boys were sitting in there eating, and there was NO way I was letting anyone I knew (especially these guys) see me in this state of disarray. So I went down to LG7, which was of course closed as well by this point. To my surprise, the Park n Shop (campus grocery store) is still open. I figure I'll just grab a microwave dinner or something, but apparently those don't exist in hong kong. I was just about to lose my mind in a hungry/angry/bitchy/low blood sugar way at this point when I spotted this mini-pizza in the freezer section. I scooped that thing up like it was a brick of gold and headed back to the dorm. I go into our 10th floor common room to use the microwave, which is of course missing, so I head down to the 9th floor, whos common room happens to be locked. I was about to give up on eating at all when I decided to give the 8th floor a chance. Score! I honestly felt like a caveman thousands of years ago on the hunt for food, and then having to come up with some way to cook it. I was almost in tears as while all of this was going on I was thinking about the fridge and full kitchen that my family would be enjoying at home during this whole debocle. Needless to say, I got that pizza in my mouth and down my throat in about 2 minutes. The damn thing even had olives and mushrooms on it (my 2 least favorite things of all time), but at this point it was all about survival; okay maybe not realllly all about survival, but it felt like it at the time.

Today was a bit better when it came to the food department, and ended up being quite productive. Sleep in, library, gym, grocery shopping, cleaning of my half of the postage-stamped size room, followed by of course some more gossip girl and green tea.

Ps. still don't have a date for this prom dealio. This event is stirring up more drama than anything that has happened on campus thus far. I would definately consider it the highpoint of our reality show, if we actually had one lol.

Enough stressing, time for sleep. I'm up to date on GG now, the next few nights will definately be filled with more shut-eye that the previous two.