Be prepared for a good laugh... The consequences of anesthetics... could be fun, no?
Thursday, April 29, 2010
special delivery.
One week ago today a special delivery arrived in Hong Kong.... BONNIE! I walk into the airport and we run towards eachother with open arms like idiots out of a movie,
I'm sure all of the asians though they were on candid camera or something. The next couple of days consisted of everything from daily workouts together, to Bonnie's first night out in LKF (including absinthe, ridiculous fruit crackers, and a night at the Cosmopolitan Hong Kong), a trip to the Peninsula for some overly-pretentious, over-priced "high tea", to some crazy shopping binges at the ladies market, as well as temple street. Highlights of her visit so far are as follows:
-Bonnie requesting a booze stop only hours after arriving, this was at 10am.
We then proceed to the campus grocery store where we pick up mini bottles of wine that we drink on the bus and MTR on our way to the ladies market. so classy.
-Sitting on the step of a closed store in Mong Kok, drinking beers from 7eleven, Bonnie struggling so hard to open hers that she broke the tab off and proceeded to drink it through a straw. amateur.
-The two of us saying "riiiighhhht?" at the end of every sentence to the point that people around us were probably feeling sick to their stomachs.
-Getting dressed up for high tea, but getting so impatient waiting in the long line that the girls went and got Starbucks.
If this doesnt seem weird to you, imagine waiting in line somewhere comparable to the Fort Garry, but nicer, for the most pretentious tea party in allll of Hong Kong, while sipping out of a paper starbucks cup, and chowing down on a "Croc Monsiour" fresh from the microwave. Once again, my friends are ALL class.
-Bonnie and I busting a move in one of the shopping stalls along temple street as soon as good music came on, the girls in the shops around us start screaming and laughing and joining in. epic.
-The two of us getting taken upstairs into some secret room in a building bordering the ladies market. BLACKMARKET.COM. A large room, every wall equipped with shelves piled alll the way to the ceiling with purses of every brand you can imagine. And in the middle of the room, a huge table covered in watches, wallets, and shoes. We were pretty sure we might have died and gone to heaven. We wanted a picture, but pictures weren't allowed, for obvious reasons lol.
-Bonnie being the biggest pimp in the city and attracting gentlemen to pay for her tabs everywhere she goes, without even trying. Thank YOU!
All in all, the visit seems to havve been a success so far, and she still has three more weeks to go. We'll see how long her black runners last lol.
I'm sure all of the asians though they were on candid camera or something. The next couple of days consisted of everything from daily workouts together, to Bonnie's first night out in LKF (including absinthe, ridiculous fruit crackers, and a night at the Cosmopolitan Hong Kong), a trip to the Peninsula for some overly-pretentious, over-priced "high tea", to some crazy shopping binges at the ladies market, as well as temple street. Highlights of her visit so far are as follows:
-Bonnie requesting a booze stop only hours after arriving, this was at 10am.
We then proceed to the campus grocery store where we pick up mini bottles of wine that we drink on the bus and MTR on our way to the ladies market. so classy.-Sitting on the step of a closed store in Mong Kok, drinking beers from 7eleven, Bonnie struggling so hard to open hers that she broke the tab off and proceeded to drink it through a straw. amateur.
-The two of us saying "riiiighhhht?" at the end of every sentence to the point that people around us were probably feeling sick to their stomachs.
-Getting dressed up for high tea, but getting so impatient waiting in the long line that the girls went and got Starbucks.
If this doesnt seem weird to you, imagine waiting in line somewhere comparable to the Fort Garry, but nicer, for the most pretentious tea party in allll of Hong Kong, while sipping out of a paper starbucks cup, and chowing down on a "Croc Monsiour" fresh from the microwave. Once again, my friends are ALL class.
-Bonnie and I busting a move in one of the shopping stalls along temple street as soon as good music came on, the girls in the shops around us start screaming and laughing and joining in. epic.
-The two of us getting taken upstairs into some secret room in a building bordering the ladies market. BLACKMARKET.COM. A large room, every wall equipped with shelves piled alll the way to the ceiling with purses of every brand you can imagine. And in the middle of the room, a huge table covered in watches, wallets, and shoes. We were pretty sure we might have died and gone to heaven. We wanted a picture, but pictures weren't allowed, for obvious reasons lol.
-Bonnie being the biggest pimp in the city and attracting gentlemen to pay for her tabs everywhere she goes, without even trying. Thank YOU!
All in all, the visit seems to havve been a success so far, and she still has three more weeks to go. We'll see how long her black runners last lol.
arctic glacier. from a showerhead.
I come home from an epic shopping experience at Hang Hau and make the decision that a shower is most definately in order (I had a massage and was oily.com) before heading to unibar. I jump in the shower after a longer than encessary facebook sesh, and proceed to latehr up, and get my canadian-imported conditioner alll over my head when the worst possible thing happens... The once-hot water goes cold. At this point I'm freezing and have no shame, so butt naked I go from stall to stall testing the temperature only to find that they are all as icy as the first. effffff my life. I retreat to stall 3 (2 is out of order), and try and rinse my hair without the watter touching my body, epic fail. I then start laughing since I can't believe that this is actually my life right now, standing in a hong kong shower, where it's usually humid beyond my wildest dreams, but freezing to death and wanting a cup of tea, like a fricken granny.
I then spent the next 3 hours sitting in my chair on my computer, wearing only my towel. Needless to say, I didn't end up making it to unibar, which is probably for the best as it usually results in an all out darts-war and copious amounts of peanut consumption. maybe next time.
I then spent the next 3 hours sitting in my chair on my computer, wearing only my towel. Needless to say, I didn't end up making it to unibar, which is probably for the best as it usually results in an all out darts-war and copious amounts of peanut consumption. maybe next time.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
awkward? never.
Saturday marked the day I would take a major risk by getting my hair cut in Hong Kong. I must've googled for hair salons catering to westerners for hours before finally waving the white flag and realizing that there was no hope for me. A couple of exchangers had previously gone to "Salon Esprit" to get their hair cut, so I decided that was going to have to suffice as background information, and headed on down.
The first lady I tried talking to had to go get another employee who could speak english... At this point, any rational human being woulc've turned and walked out the door, but of course not me, I had to try and tough this one out... What an idiot. Turns out that my stylist can in fact speak english, I send up a thank you to the gods. I proceed to tell him how much I want cut off, at which point he talks me into getting a package that includes this moisturizing treatment as well as a pedicure, why the hell not right? WRONG. It turns out that this "pedicure" came with a bunch of strings, they asked me if for 100hk I wanted my calluses removed (which arent even bad by the way), ummm $13CDN for that, no thanks you sheister. Can't escapoe these people, really.
So after telling the stylist multiple times to stop cutting he finally listened, and sent me off with a young-ish asian boy wearing nail polish to get my hair washed. BEST 10 MINTUES OF MY LIFE; full sclap MASSAGE that I honestly could've endured forever, it was magical. If I was mega rich I would fly this emo asian kid across the ocean to wash my hair on the daily, no joke.
I leave the salon, $130CDN later with my moiturized, cropped hair, and my pink sparkly pedicure, ready to rip up the black and white affair also known as Tania and Laura's bday boat ride that night.
I had 30 mins to get ready, and to what will be great surprise from those who know me back home, I made it with time to spare, and even managed to shove a sandwich down my throat before boarding the boat for a night of sugarfree redbulls and vodka, and total debauchery.
Surprisingly enough, I survived the ridiculously unsteady boat ride in my 6
inch heels without falling even once, ohhh the things those sf red bulls will do for ya. The night eded up at Azure as usual, and after an $80hk drink, it was on to complete dance floor destruction. I think I even got kicked off of a table at one point, awkward? Never.
The first lady I tried talking to had to go get another employee who could speak english... At this point, any rational human being woulc've turned and walked out the door, but of course not me, I had to try and tough this one out... What an idiot. Turns out that my stylist can in fact speak english, I send up a thank you to the gods. I proceed to tell him how much I want cut off, at which point he talks me into getting a package that includes this moisturizing treatment as well as a pedicure, why the hell not right? WRONG. It turns out that this "pedicure" came with a bunch of strings, they asked me if for 100hk I wanted my calluses removed (which arent even bad by the way), ummm $13CDN for that, no thanks you sheister. Can't escapoe these people, really.
So after telling the stylist multiple times to stop cutting he finally listened, and sent me off with a young-ish asian boy wearing nail polish to get my hair washed. BEST 10 MINTUES OF MY LIFE; full sclap MASSAGE that I honestly could've endured forever, it was magical. If I was mega rich I would fly this emo asian kid across the ocean to wash my hair on the daily, no joke.
I leave the salon, $130CDN later with my moiturized, cropped hair, and my pink sparkly pedicure, ready to rip up the black and white affair also known as Tania and Laura's bday boat ride that night.
I had 30 mins to get ready, and to what will be great surprise from those who know me back home, I made it with time to spare, and even managed to shove a sandwich down my throat before boarding the boat for a night of sugarfree redbulls and vodka, and total debauchery.
Surprisingly enough, I survived the ridiculously unsteady boat ride in my 6
inch heels without falling even once, ohhh the things those sf red bulls will do for ya. The night eded up at Azure as usual, and after an $80hk drink, it was on to complete dance floor destruction. I think I even got kicked off of a table at one point, awkward? Never.
you rack disaprine. angry asians.
So it has been a few days, my apologies... Things have been a little hectic.
Friday: Went to Kowloon Tong mall to try and get people to fill out survey's for our marketing project, BAD idea. I've never felt uneasy about approaching people, but I had a strange incling that people here wouldn't be too responsive. Boy was I right.
The first guy Kim approached actually answered the whole survey, so we thought we were in lcuk...
All downhill from there, no joke. Kim practically got into a yelling match with some lady who was being really difficult, Tania ended up surveying a guy wearing a pink backpack and orange glasses, and a 21 year old american exchange student (our target was 45 year old professional family men lol), and I kept getting repeatedly shut down by angry asian jerks. I hate rejection.
The day ended on a brighter note with a nice meal at our oh-so-classy favorite asian restaurant, Mos Burger; as well as a moneyyyy purchase at Fortress of a wireless keyboard and mouse for my stupid laptops, which have both failed me. My regular laptop has a malfunctioning keyboard that continues to have more keys that don't work, as well as a garb.com touchpad that keeps crapping out on me and
a screen that won't turn on half of the time; while the keyboard on my netbook has also recently stopped working, kill me now. The kicker, is that the only keyboards I could get have chinese characters all voer them in addition to the regular letters, I asked if they had any plain keyboards, but the asian salespeople just laughed at me, seems to be a common occurence here. No mercy for the tall white girl.
Friday: Went to Kowloon Tong mall to try and get people to fill out survey's for our marketing project, BAD idea. I've never felt uneasy about approaching people, but I had a strange incling that people here wouldn't be too responsive. Boy was I right.
The first guy Kim approached actually answered the whole survey, so we thought we were in lcuk...
All downhill from there, no joke. Kim practically got into a yelling match with some lady who was being really difficult, Tania ended up surveying a guy wearing a pink backpack and orange glasses, and a 21 year old american exchange student (our target was 45 year old professional family men lol), and I kept getting repeatedly shut down by angry asian jerks. I hate rejection.
The day ended on a brighter note with a nice meal at our oh-so-classy favorite asian restaurant, Mos Burger; as well as a moneyyyy purchase at Fortress of a wireless keyboard and mouse for my stupid laptops, which have both failed me. My regular laptop has a malfunctioning keyboard that continues to have more keys that don't work, as well as a garb.com touchpad that keeps crapping out on me and
a screen that won't turn on half of the time; while the keyboard on my netbook has also recently stopped working, kill me now. The kicker, is that the only keyboards I could get have chinese characters all voer them in addition to the regular letters, I asked if they had any plain keyboards, but the asian salespeople just laughed at me, seems to be a common occurence here. No mercy for the tall white girl.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Wan Chai - balcony barfing.
This past Tuesday I made my "Hong Kong to-do List", consisting of things around the city that I want to get done before I come home. The list consisted of many things, among them were: go for tea at the Peninsula hotel, see the skyline light show at night, hike in Sai Kung, and "Visit Wan Chai - get fucked up". This last little tidbit following Wan Chai was only added for some comical relief, but ended up getting checked off, not even on purpose. The story goes:
I had decided earlier on in the day that for the first time ever, I was going to join the crew that night in Wan Chai. Around 10pm we all met up in Ramin's room for the pre-game. Since I had previously stated that I was not going to drink and instructed the boys to not let me do so, I showed up with 2 sugar free redbulls in hand. Upon arriving at the bar just before midnight I decided to get a vodka water from the bar (since it was ladies night and girls get in and drink for free).
1 drink later and I was destroying the dance floor.
1 more after that and I was sitting on the patio/balcony barfing like it was my job.
Disturbing, I know. I have no idea what the heck happened, those of you who knew me in my drinking prime know that 3 drinks wouldn't even get me warmed up, apparently I have become a lightweight, I never thought this day would come.
The guys were sure that I was sick because I was low on sugar, and proceeded to run across the street to 7 11 to buy me ice cream and sat there feeding it to me like a little baby, while I proceeded to spit it out, telling them I didn't want it (first and only time that I will EVER turn down ice cream, guaranteed).
Not only did I get strangely drunk off of a ridiculously small amount of alcohol (maybe I shouldn't have asked the bartender for more vodka?), I somehow managed to lose my ocotopus card, as well as my driver's license (that I brought along for ID). Thankfully I didn't bring my credit card, mom and dad would prrrrobably have made me join some form of chinese AA... "My name is Kendall and I have a problem. That problem being that your shitty bottom of the barrel vodka and crappy bartenders have now ruined my life. Thanks for nothing."
I managed to get home in one piece with team india and boonie. They later told me that they got to enjoy the smell of my vomit the entire cab ride home... Sorry guys.
This story is bothering on so many levels. I had previously help up my end of the bargain I had with myself... To not puke in Hong Kong. Had it been necessary that I break this promise, I would have preferred it be in a toilet, and in private, not on a balcony at a crowded bar, with my head between my legs. Classy as ever. NAT.
Sidenote: not that it makes it any better whatsoever, but I would like to note that there were 3 other girlfriends of mine, and one male friend that joined the puking symphony that night. One of them barfing on a friend's lap on the cab ride home. Suckkkkka.
I had decided earlier on in the day that for the first time ever, I was going to join the crew that night in Wan Chai. Around 10pm we all met up in Ramin's room for the pre-game. Since I had previously stated that I was not going to drink and instructed the boys to not let me do so, I showed up with 2 sugar free redbulls in hand. Upon arriving at the bar just before midnight I decided to get a vodka water from the bar (since it was ladies night and girls get in and drink for free).
1 drink later and I was destroying the dance floor.
1 more after that and I was sitting on the patio/balcony barfing like it was my job.
Disturbing, I know. I have no idea what the heck happened, those of you who knew me in my drinking prime know that 3 drinks wouldn't even get me warmed up, apparently I have become a lightweight, I never thought this day would come.
The guys were sure that I was sick because I was low on sugar, and proceeded to run across the street to 7 11 to buy me ice cream and sat there feeding it to me like a little baby, while I proceeded to spit it out, telling them I didn't want it (first and only time that I will EVER turn down ice cream, guaranteed).
Not only did I get strangely drunk off of a ridiculously small amount of alcohol (maybe I shouldn't have asked the bartender for more vodka?), I somehow managed to lose my ocotopus card, as well as my driver's license (that I brought along for ID). Thankfully I didn't bring my credit card, mom and dad would prrrrobably have made me join some form of chinese AA... "My name is Kendall and I have a problem. That problem being that your shitty bottom of the barrel vodka and crappy bartenders have now ruined my life. Thanks for nothing."
I managed to get home in one piece with team india and boonie. They later told me that they got to enjoy the smell of my vomit the entire cab ride home... Sorry guys.
This story is bothering on so many levels. I had previously help up my end of the bargain I had with myself... To not puke in Hong Kong. Had it been necessary that I break this promise, I would have preferred it be in a toilet, and in private, not on a balcony at a crowded bar, with my head between my legs. Classy as ever. NAT.
Sidenote: not that it makes it any better whatsoever, but I would like to note that there were 3 other girlfriends of mine, and one male friend that joined the puking symphony that night. One of them barfing on a friend's lap on the cab ride home. Suckkkkka.
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